Initially, I was drawn to this course because I was involved in the Community Engaged Leaders program and had spent a fair amount of time developing a personal development plan that was conscious of, and anxious of, my own social location. This course provided me an interesting outlet to develop leadership skills, critique motivations of service, and develop a theoretical framework for an authentic and efficacious model of civic engagement in the context of academic study. I think, overall, I was successful in my pursuit of some of these investigations. I am leaving this quarter with more questions than answers, which seems like a definite sign of accomplishment.

 

This course pushed me to say “yes” to things that make me uncomfortable. First and foremost, I was encouraged to pursue a placement site that was unfamiliar to me: in the past, when I registered for service learning opportunities, it was concerned primarily with K-12 education. This made a great deal of sense, given my intended post-graduation plans and future career paths. These service experiences have been extremely informative in the past, and would no doubt promise to be informative in the future, but, rather than being involved in another tutoring role, I chose to get involved in a placement site that was outside of my field of study. I had been interested in conversations surrounding social justice issues in classes before, but it was always discussed in terms of pedagogical frameworks. Now, I was being introduced to the non-profit realm, which runs parallel to educational pathways, but occupies a very different political space. The non-profit world is constrained by different economic and social limitations, which complemented my familiarity with the bureaucratic and political structures in place in the world of education. This course provided me with a platform to experiment with different types of engagement that deal with complicated, systemic, and social issues and to round out my knowledge of various modes of decolonization and the pursuit of equality (and underscored the importance of having these kinds of conversations and doing this kind of work in many different fields that have similar goals, even if they achieve this goal in different ways).

 

This course also taught me not to say “yes” to too much either. The time commitment involved in this course stretched me really thin this quarter. It prompted me to be more highly aware and considerate of my time as a powerful tool, currency, and method of contribution. As we were wondering and debating in class about the effect that temporary and inconsistent acts of service have on organizations and the populations they serve, I myself was struggling to piece together a few hours every week to devote to my service engagement. It definitely increased the salience of the critical arguments of the course to simultaneously be studying these patterns of service and experiencing them myself firsthand.

 

This course also exposed me to material that I would not have otherwise encountered, but that I felt deeply compelled by and connected to. Much of this reading, if I happened upon it all, would have most likely been framed by some sort of critical theory in CHID, which would have drastically altered the way in which I perceived it. But, because I approached the content with a very specific lens – one of hesitant critique and self-aware implication – I was, I think, more receptive to the material on a personal level, rather than an abstract and academic level. Some of the articles, chapters, and concepts that we discussed in class really appealed to me on an emotional basis. The readings aroused pretty visceral reactions from me, some of unwarranted anger, some of hope, some of skepticism, some of pragmatism. It was a reminder that emotion and passion and illogical gut reactions do have a place in the academy, and should be considered very carefully in the classroom. Since we, as a class community, agreed to work together to carve out a space for this emotive expression, I think we allowed students to engage with the material in a distinct and powerful way.

 

Not only did individual readings “get to me” in a unique way, I also found myself resonating really strongly with the kind of structure and progression of the course: I felt as though I matured as the class did. I initially entered the course thinking I was fairly sensitive to, and well versed in, these issues surrounding the practice of ethical and sound service. I, perhaps naively or arrogantly, assumed that this quarter would involve a high number of discussions that introduced me to new ways of thinking that were not necessarily paradigm-shifting. But in many ways, this course has allowed me to add another dimension to my studies that spills over into many areas of my life, both in school and out of it. The course structure was built to accommodate a pretty high level of flexibility, with a definite capacity for personalization. As such, I was able, and encouraged, to pursue the subtopics that correlated most strongly with my own areas of interest, namely education and various types of leadership. It was not enough, though, to investigate these topics; I also was asked to be really honest, candid, and judicious when thinking about my own participation in these kinds of structures and systems. This course has provided me with a platform to develop a critical eye towards the activities I’m engaging in now, my role I play in institutionalized forms of social inequity, which was a challenging and rewarding process (one that will continue on for a very long time!).

 

Overall, the experiences I was privileged enough to have had this quarter will undoubtedly (and already have been) be informative in my future. It has already lead to many unanticipated opportunities. I had absolutely no idea that engaging in this service would lead to a job prospect that positions me on the edge of my intended future career. What are the odds? I would never have guessed that taking a chance on a course outside of my majors at the end of my junior year and taking a chance on a volunteer placement site would lead to accept a job offer. Now, because of it, I will be heading to a national conference for public school superintendents in Chicago this summer. What a pleasant surprise!

 

This course came at an absolutely perfect time in my life. As the confluence of my narrowed academic focus meets my increased future orientation and consideration of possible post-graduation plans, this course arrived exactly when I needed it to. It has provided me with a new set of tools (theories of leadership, models of ethical service, an insider’s familiarity with the non-profit world, strategies to foster civil and civic discourse) that will strengthen my preparation for my future, so that I might enter the world with a higher degree of integrity, empathy, and a deeper and richer understanding of my relationship to the changing dynamics of other people in the world.

 

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